Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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