Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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