We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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