So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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