how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
