My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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