your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
