nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
