just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
