Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
