Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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