i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
