Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
