He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
