Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
