I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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