i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
