I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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