she was so not down for the gang bang
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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