We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
