Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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