I'm passing your future prison.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
