Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
