Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
