The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
