I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize