Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
