i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize