he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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