We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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