So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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