What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
