There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
