A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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