I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
