Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize