he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize