we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
