were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize