So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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