wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
