I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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