His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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