so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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