she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
