Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize