If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
