I CAN MOONWALK!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he high fived his dick after we had sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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