u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
