I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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