so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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