she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
