Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
