Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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