the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
