i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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