no. you can't hotbox the world.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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