Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
