dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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