turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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