he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
